Menopause – sex and intimacy

THERE IS a myth that because you are going through the menopause, that your sex life is over, but this does not have to be the case. If you want to enjoy the pleasure that is available to you in your body, either alone or with a partner, it is all still there after the menopause.

While some of the hormonal changes of menopause may change the way you experience sex and your body, there is lots you can do to create a happy and pleasurable sex life that feels right for you.

According to Nicola Clarke, life coach, it is time to talk about it openly and without shame. From vaginal dryness to changing desire, menopause impacts intimacy and there are steps you can take to reignite connection and pleasure.

“For many women, this season brings changes that affect not only the body but also the heart, confidence, and relationships. And yet, this is also a time when deeper intimacy can be rediscovered, if we understand what’s happening and how to nurture it,” Clarke said.

WHY INTIMACY OFTEN FADES:

• Hormonal changes: As oestrogen and testosterone start to decline, natural lubrication decreases, desire may dip, and intercourse can become uncomfortable.

• Body image and self-esteem: Weight changes, hot flashes, or fatigue can make women feel less desirable or disconnected from their bodies.

• Emotional distance: Menopause can stir mood swings, irritability, or even anxiety, which can create tension and misunderstanding between partners.

• Lack of communication: Many couples avoid talking about the changes, leaving both partners feeling rejected, confused, or unwanted.

HOW CAN I TALK WITH MY PARTNER ABOUT MENOPAUSE AND SEX?

Talking with your partner about your concerns can strengthen your relationship. Getting older and chronic health problems like heart disease or diabetes can affect your sexual health and how you feel about sex. Some possible topics to discuss include:

• What feels good and what does not

• Times that you may feel more relaxed

• Which positions are more comfortable

• Whether you need more time to get aroused than before

• Concerns you have about the way your appearance may be changing

• Ways to enjoy physical connection other than vaginal intercourse, such as oral sex or massage

• You may want to also consider meeting with a therapist or sex counsellor for individual or couples therapy if changes in your sex life bother you.

CARE FOR YOUR BODY:

• Address vaginal dryness or pain with moisturisers, lubricants, or talk to your doctor about medical options like vaginal oestrogen. When comfort returns, so can desire.

• Explore new ways to connect.

• Intimacy is more than intercourse; it is eye contact, touch, playfulness, and presence. Rediscover what feels good to both of you.

• Balance hormones and stress

• Speak with your doctor about hormone therapy or other treatments, and practise stress relief such as yoga, meditation, or simply slowing down.

Feeling sensual again starts from within. When you reconnect with your body and pleasure on your own terms, you invite your partner to meet you there. The bottom line is that menopause does not have to signal the end of passion; it can be a new beginning for deeper intimacy and emotional connection.

When both partners approach this stage with understanding and openness together, the spark can evolve into something more meaningful, more mature, and more deeply satisfying than ever before.

Menopause Monday’s will host a Breaking Through Conference on November 15, at the Terra Nova Hotel, where sexologist and other expert speakers, will have real conversations, and empowering solutions to help you thrive throughout menopause.

keisha.hill@gleanerjm.com

SOURCE: Nicola Clarke – Life Coach, Menopause Mondays, John Hopkins University.