Dwight Fletcher | Your expectations inform your experience

If you’ve been with me over the past few weeks, then I pray that by now you’ve started to recognise that one of the things you need this year is greater resilience. We live in a microwave society which has conditioned us to believe that things should be quick, easy and convenient. Yet, life is not a bed of roses – and even if it is, every rose bush has thorns. Even the good things that will happen this year will come with growing pains.

Imagine if you got the one thing you wanted most this year. For many, that’s marriage, a child, a new job or a better house and/or car. Well, if you get married, you will have to adjust to life as one. There will be new restrictions on your life that weren’t there before, and you will have to learn about this person in a new way. Trust me, no matter how long you’ve been together, marriage brings out new things in this person that you wouldn’t have expected. Now, how about a child? I don’t have to tell you that even with the incredible joy, love and gratitude you will feel towards that baby, you will also be tired and worried, with more financial burdens than you had before. A new job, bigger house or fancier car all have their own ‘thorns’ that can feel overwhelming if you’re not prepared for them.

No matter the roses you get this year, you must deal with the thorns. That’s why resilient people expect emotional pain and stress as part of life, but they don’t allow their difficulties to define them. They don’t allow the hardship to derail them from enjoying the very blessing they wanted. They follow the example of the Apostle Paul, who wrote one of the world’s favourite verses, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” (Philippians 4:13 NKJV.) But do you know the context of this popular verse?

CHOOSE YOUR ATTITUDE

Paul is writing to the church in Philippi while in prison, and he says that he’s grateful for the way they have financially supported him in this time. Then he says, “ Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned, in whatever situation I am, to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.” (Philippians 4: 11-13 ESV.)

When he says he can do “all things”, he means that he can endure any situation because God gives him strength. Most of the time, you don’t get to choose the obstacles and difficulties that life puts in your path, but it’s good to remember that you get to choose your attitude towards adversity.

Not only do we expect hardship, but we should expect God to come through for us during that hardship. It may not look the way we expect, but God is a good Father and He does not abandon His children. Romans 8:31-32 & 37 (NIV) says, “ If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? …in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.”

Even though he was in prison, Paul knew that God was with him in the hard times and would help him to overcome. How about you? Do you expect that 2026 will bring trials for you? Do you believe that God will help you through those trials? What is one thing you can do to better prepare yourself for resilience this year?