Hello Mi Neighbour | What does a ‘clean’ lie look like?

ANYBODY HAS ever told a real dirty lie on yuh? Please don’t begin to relive the experience now! A dirty lie is one that damages our good reputation while a “clean lie” if there is such a thing, is one that should enhance it. Wanna figure out what a clean lie could look like in the meanwhile? Suffice it say that a lie, clean or dirty is a deadly sin.

Every time we break the commandment not to lie, we endanger ourselves and those who follow us. People lie for various reasons and if we could categorise lies, we would have to agree that the deadliest of lies is one which is blatantly told on a neighbour! That liar is exposed to far more danger than the one who is lied on. “Thou shalt not lie”. As we advise liars to stop lying, let’s see how we can help the persons who are lied on, to move forward without allowing the false accusation to stand in their way.

To prevent the lie from festering and working against you, do not focus on the lie and the possible damage to your reputation. Rather, focus on the truth. Follow this command: Whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure … think on these things.

REMAIN CALM AND OBJECTIVE

Remember, what you are trying to do is to protect yourself from the permanent damage this lie can cause. Revenge only leads to temporary satisfaction and could do more harm than good. You may want to sue the liar or take actions that could lead to his/her demise. But think of the time, resources and inconvenience this could cause, and by the end of the day you could be in a worse position. Would it be worth the bother? Remember, it’s the truth about the situation that will “set you free”. Rumours, false accusations or lying about others is nothing new! People do it every day here, there and everywhere. We must therefore remain calm and objective and watch the truth deliver us from false accusations.

Getting defensive or emotional can escalate the situation. Your time would be more wisely spent collecting evidence and facts to support your side of the story, should it come to the test. As far as possible to be clear, concise, polite and assertive in your communication. It will make you stronger and more believable. People who “blaze up” under these circumstances are less believable and could be deemed having something to hide.

If the lie has already damaged your reputation, use your time and energy to focus on rebuilding trust and credibility. As you do this, you may want to highlight your achievements and display your track record of honesty and integrity … pray there’s one.

In some cases, it’s best to ignore the person spreading the lie, especially if the intention is to provoke a reaction or get your attention. If you extend sympathy and forgiveness to them, they may love you for that and could lead to their healing. Seriously, they could be experiencing a mental crisis etc. You may therefore want to switch the spotlight from yourself and focus on their wellness … that could help to “wash their troubles away”.

Legal action

Trusted friends and family may advise you to take legal actions to save your name in these circumstances, but that may not be the soundest advice at this time. The truth will do a better job at defending you. That truth may open the eyes of the liar to the folly of their ways and have them kneeling before you in repentance.

At the end of the day, you could learn and grow from the experience. Could that lie result from a misreading of an action you might have taken or a statement you might have made? Could it be a warning to be cautious in the future?

Remember, if you always speak the truth, the truth will always speak for you. Lies will always bark loudly, but it’s the truth that bites deeply.

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To help, please call Silton Townsend @ 876 649-9636 or deposit in acct #351 044 276 NCB. Alternatively, send donations to Hello Neighbour C/o 53 Half-Way Tree Road, Kingston 10; Paypal/credit card: email: zicron22@yahoo.com. Contact email: helloneighbour@yahoo.com. Visit hellomineighbourja.blogspot.com. Townsend exclusively manages the collections and distributions mentioned in this column and is neither an employee nor agent of The Gleaner.